What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What does Jesus mean in Revelation 3:3 when He states, "Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God?"

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

When was the first time your wife had beastiality?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Did Obito ever fully redeem himself in everyone's eyes?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!